Mix feel

If you ask me how I feel now, I can't really tell. It's a mixture of disappointments and upsets.

I am in a project and really needs some help. Well, my ex-company has the system set up properly and I guess I can go there to do some study and he might be able to help since he has ERP background. If I need to go back to my ex-company, of cause he will need to be there because I can't just go in whenever I like.

This is the response I got from him.

"I am not sure today I can or not, tomorrow I got badminton exercise, Friday I got class, Saturday I can't."

When he needs help, I am always there to help. Now, he is telling me that he has a badminton session which is much more important than the help I need. I am not trying to say he must pay back what I done for him but at least, not until put badminton on top of his priority list rather than my simple request, right? He doesn't need to pay back me anything, I help him with sincerity, but I was hoping that he would appreciate me as friend, and help me as much as he can like what i did. Of cause I can't blame him is he really got very important thing to do. But badminton? Badminton?

Gosh.

Gosh.

I don't need him. I don't need anyone. Everybody has a mindset that this Miss LiChen always has the capability to settle everything and just ignore her!

I am helpless. Has anyone ever cared for me? Please? I am just an ordinary girl who needs some help and cares, is it too much to ask for that? Is it so difficult to give me some helps and cares? I am not a superwoman. I am tired trying to be one.